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Friday, May 16, 2008

You know you are over the hill when...

Well, Diana let it out of the bag that I'm 40 today... the big 4-0... top of hill and looking down, as it were. It's OK, though. I've come to accept the fact and am trying to age with grace. That being said, here are some, "You know you are over the hill when's...." that I've come across. I have to laugh, because the sad thing is that some of these ARE true... lol

Anyway, here we go...

You know you are over the hill when...

Your back goes out but you stay home
At the breakfast table you hear snap,crakle,pop and you're not eating cereal
When you wake up looking like your drivers license picture
It takes two tries to get up from the couch
When you yell at your kids to "turn that darn music down"
When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio
When happy hour is a nap
When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does
When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it
When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age
You go to step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired
Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer
Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going
The pharmacist has become your new best friend
Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot
The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals
If everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work
If your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your metamucil
You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time
You get two invitations to go out on the same night and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there
You get to the check out line,see how long it is,and decide what you have in your buggy isn't worth the wait
You have more patience,but actually it's just that you don't care anymore
Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride
You confuse having a 'clear conscience' with a bad memory
You finally 'get your head together' and your body starts falling apart
You turn off the lights for economic reasons instead of romantic reasons
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it
Getting a little action means your prune juice kicked in
Caution is the only thing you excercise
You wake up with that morning after feeling and you didn't go anywhere the night before
You're not worried about losing your looks, only your glasses
You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
You tune into the easy listening station... on purpose.
You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large. In that order.
You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Kumbaya.
Someone compliments you on your layered look... and you're wearing a bikini.
You keep repeating yourself.
You start video taping daytime game shows.
At the airport, they ask to check your bags... and you're not carrying any luggage.
You wonder why you waited so long to take up macramé.
Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar... A month at a time.
At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out... and it stays out.
One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments".
You keep repeating yourself.
It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
You discover the words, "whippersnapper", "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.
You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
You look both ways before crossing a room.
Your social security number only has three digits.
You keep repeating yourself.
You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
You go to a Garden Party and you're mainly interested in the garden.
You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep.
The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say "pureed".
You start beating everyone else at trivia games.
You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread used to cost.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You keep repeating yourself.
Cafeteria food starts tasting GOOD.
You refer to your $2500 stereo system as "The Hi-Fi."
You make it a point to attend all the RV shows that come to town.
You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.
Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
Many of your co- workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.
All of your favorite movies are now revised in color.
The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
You keep repeating yourself.
You find this list tasteless and insensitive.


Wendy said...

Welcome to the club buddy!

Diana said...

your so old that the clothes you put away came back in style twice!

Love you
Love me

George Romano said...

Hey, I knew that my parachute pants would be back.

Some things were good from "back then", just not the mullet :)

Diana said...

I need to find that photo of the mullet. I don't care what you say, it was a mullet!

I can scan the photo and post it an have a blogger vote to see who thinks it was a mullet.

Love me